Most of us talk a lot about keeping positive relationship, especially in our own family and among our friends and colleagues. Generally, we realise that our friendly relationship with others would continue up to a certain point, afterwards it would become difficult to continue. In the beginning, we become friends because we see the positive of each other and feel, “How fortunate we are to be friends!” Then, as we become closer, our emotions come in the way. This happens with couples, with gurus and students and among Dharma friends. One of the main obstacles, as I can see it, is a lack of rejoicing and a lack of understanding. In fact, to genuinely rejoice is a way to develop our understanding or you can call it a small step towards enlightenment and one step closer to our nature.
I have had the good fortune to keep positive relationships with my Gurus, my Dharma brothers and sisters, and most of my disciples, students and friends. Of course since nothing is perfect, like you, I too suffer from relationships that turn sour or negative. I would like to believe that I do try my best to keep all the remaining relationships with my sincerity and a harmless motivation. Harmless motivation is important too, besides rejoicing. Sometimes, when we say that “I rejoice”, we ought to check whether we are really rejoicing or just pretending to rejoice with some other negative motives at the back. Positive actions can turn negative only due to a crooked motivation. So we should always watch our motivation.
I have known His Holiness Drikung Kyabgon since I was a teenager. When the late Thuksey Rinpoche was alive, His Holiness used to visit us a lot, sometimes in Darjeeling and sometimes in Ladakh. We received teachings from the same Guru and practised under the same roof. Age wise, since he is my senior, I always see him as my older brother. We played soccer together. We even played frisbee and rode horses in our free time. His Holiness has always been very kind, loving and supportive to me, despite all the difficulties that we face in our jobs and in our own lineages. Because of our own busy activities, we haven’t been meeting frequent enough for a few years, until recently.
For me personally, the main highlight of the 5th ADC was the presence of His Holiness Drikung Kyabgon. He gave his speech in well-spoken Ladakhi, and of course, being a great Bodhisattva, he would have no problem communicating in any language he chooses to. About a year ago, I was very concerned about his health. This time, having met him and spent time with him in Ladakh, I was thrilled that his health has recovered dramatically and I am very confident that we both will have a great time again and again. I don’t know if we both can play soccer or frisbee any more, I lately realised that His Holiness has grown quite big, I am also quite fat now. We may not be able to run that quickly, since we are not young as before. We will definitely exercise, learn swimming, lose some weight and get ready for our holiday together. His Holiness has invited me to go on a holiday with him in Ladakh and we are definitely going to ride horses and run around soon. I look forward to having a great time with my Dharma brother.
Historically, both of our past incarnations had taken rebirth in the same family. It is too bad that my knowledge in history is not very good, as I am not at all interested in intellectual knowledge. I am sure some of you may know more about our history than I do.
Anyhow, as I said just now, try your best to rejoice in all the good things others are doing. Rejoice deeply with positive motivation. Rejoice with the attitude that “one day, I will follow his or her example to do good deeds,” without thinking that “I wish he or she did not do such a good job so that I would always be the better one”. Rejoicing is the best medicine for jealousy and also other negative emotions. Why not give it a try?